I just had a grown man tell me to “go make me a sandwich” as I was doing his pourover
I told him I didn’t understand what he meant because we’re a coffee shop, and he was like “oh it’s a joke” and I said I “didn’t get it” and he went “it’s funny because you’re a woman working in a kitchen”
And I just stared at him until he got how stupid he soundedlet them feel their ignorance burn into their souls
Isn’t it weird when you’re crying and your nose starts to run and like damn it’s a really sad time cause tears are coming out my NOSE.
I work in a hotel. We have a parking lot. Sometimes it fills up. If you are not “handicapped” you cannot park in a “handicap” parking spot.
IF YOU ARE NOT YOU CANNOT. People seem to think this is optional. “Oh well some asshole double parked and there are PLENTY of spots for people with physical disabilites…” I don’t care. Shut up. You are breaking the law, you are breaking hotel policy and you are being an absolute goddamn fucking asshole. No this isn’t a joke, SIR. I am not laughing when you say “oh but I’m ‘mentally’ handicapped”. Because that is also fucking sick of you to say. Those spots are right next door to the elevators. For people who cannot walk up the stairs. They are wider to accommodate wheelchair, walkers, necessary wide or large movements, walking poles or anything but your god damn ableist attitude. Shut up. Shut up. Who gave you the fucking right. I will personally walk downstairs, take your plate number, and call the closest available towing company. And I will smile at you and tell you I did. And you can WALK to pick up your car. Because you CAN.
There’s this one episode of CSI and they’re going through the things of a dead female drug addict. And what’s his face, Warrick? picks up her panties and they’ve got holes in them and he says “nothing sadder than a woman with raggedy drawers.” And I think about that a lot because like what’s so sad about that like do you know how expensive women’s underwear is? Have you ever owned lace panties and a cat at the same time that shit is not safe. I feel bad for your gf Warrick? because you clearly know nothing about lingerie and probably get her industrial strength cotton panties from Marden’s or something god.
"Sorry, I can’t go out I’m busy plucking my boob hair" is a real life excuse that I use frequently.
Want to get a woman into your car?
Yell at her from the street, “EH PUSS-EHHHH!! EH PUSSY! PUSS-EH!”
It will definitely work.
Or actually probably not.
It will definitely not work and now you are a sexist pig and I hate your fucking guts but good effort.